Monday, July 20, 2009

If I Ignore It, It Will Go Away

This is NOT how to deal with financial problems. Financial problems don't just go away if you ignore them.

I grew up in a financially unstable home. My parents always seemed to struggle, so I swore that when I grew up I would be totally different.

And by different I mean EXACTLY THE SAME! Holy CRAP! I have turned into my parents. Juggling money from one account to another trying to keep us above water.

When we got married we thought the logical thing to do would be to put all money into one account. One marriage, one bank account. This is how my parents did it, and since they did such a good job I definitely should copy them, right? (Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, I just didn't learn good financial skills from them.)

I have heard of other couples who have their own accounts and they divide the bills (he takes care of the mortgage and cars, she takes care of utilities and groceries). Do any of you do this? How exactly do you divide responsibilities? How well does it work? Would you recommend this to another couple?

We both have jobs so technically we could do this. It is just a totally different concept to me, so I need the low-down on it so I can try it (if it works).



Missty said...

I really don't have any advise. When I worked when we were first married, we had one account, and all the money went into it. I paid all the bills then.

Now that I stay home - we still have the one account, and I pay all the bills.

We both can spend what is available, after the bills are paid.

I guess the concept of two accounts and each pay some bills would work, if you already had issues with who can spend what, or who has to ask first, etc. Then I could see it working so you could spend freely when you thought you needed to.

I just really think some couples try making things hard.

Hopefully you will get some great ideas.

Youngblood4ever said...

Hey Missty, thanks for that. Finances are hard on most people, and I know that there really isn't one perfect solution for everyone. Just hoping not to pass on the lack of skills to my kids. I want to get it all worked out before they really get old enough for us to teach them so that we will be able to teach them how not to get totally screwed.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Only one account here Julie!

But you know what... you have something there? Maybe two accounts would work better for us?

Hmmm... need to bring that up with the hubby!

Great post!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

For now we are a one income one bank account family (well we have checking and savings). My parents used to have one account even though my mom worked too but this is how they split things (my mom made very little money since she worked part time). My mom would pay for the fun things like vacations and eating out type of things and my dad paid for all the bills.
if you want separate acounts you could try doing it that way - having one account for entertainment things and one for bills. When all the bills are paid then a certian amount could go into the Fun account. That way you aren't using money needed for bills for fun things by accident.

Once I am making money from my writing I plan to have an account of my own and will contribute some money for bills and the rest will be for our fun things.

Eva Gallant said...

My husband and I have had separate checking accounts for about 15 years. We have a joint savings. During those years, we divided the bills proportionately with our incomes. Spend what's in the checking account is entirely up to the account owner. Withdrawals from savings require mutual agreement. It's worked very well for us.

American in Norway said...

One account here... luckily we have the same ideas when it comes to spending & saving..

Anonymous said...

I can see by y'alls comments and the post itself I needta write a post on this subject.

Any method will work if properly done.

I'd need to know more about your problem specifically to help YOU but in general here is the down low.

If you want stability you must get out of debt ASAP. If you have money coming in and no bills then you have MONEY!
Now everyone has bills, recurring but everyone doesnt have DEBT. DEBT is bad.

This is to everyone.


See this is VERY similar to the contract. People listen to me! I don't know much about much but I do know that when you have a plan and work the plan and WRITE down the plan as well as the goals they become real enough for you to attack them.

Write your budget, I promise you that if you don't do this now and you start with a budget today you will be amazed how much money you piss away each month.

Like I said I'd need specifics to help You Youngblood but the budget is a must if you are in trouble financially for everyone.

Its like grocery shopping folks, if you go without a list, a well thought list you will buy more than you need, every-single-time.

I needta blog it.
folks make many mistakes and they feel overwhelmed. Sigh. It sucks, everyone has been there. The budget is also a must for single folks but if you are married and your spouse isn't willing to help then you have deeper problems than money, and it will be damn near impossible to get out of debt and get financially secure without their involvement.

Ok sorry for the long azzed comment.

Youngblood4ever said...

So Sage, When you gonna have a sitdown with me and gimme some MAJOR help? I'll be waiting.

Anjeny said...

Aw Jules...I always think it's some kind of curse that when we were young, whatever our parents did we didn't like we said we wouldn't do when we grow up but that is exactly how we ended up.

The one bank account would be the ideal for you both would have to direct deposit your pay into that account and budget each month what goes in and what comes out. If handling the bills paying a little too much for you, you can do automatic payments, that's the best way of avoiding late payment.

If you like the divided bill payment between you and hubby then you two need to sit down, draw up your budget, add up all the bills and then divide up equally in dollar amount between you two...unless you make less money than he does then you'll have to pay for the less cost bills while he pays for the more costly ones, kwim?

Good luck Jules...hope everything works out for you.