Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

I have a wonderful time reading all these Compatibility posts. I especially love Daddy Geek Boy's post because it sounded like something I could have written about me and my hub, he was like my hubby in someways and I was like his wife in someways...

Today I thought I'd share a couple of my favorites about the difference between men and women. After reading this post that Shelle wrote a while back, I've decided to do this post I'm doing today. There have already been several very interesting compatibility posts that are extremely wonderful and I would like to add a little something of mine to it. The two points I listed below are a couple of my favorite on the difference between men and women.

Here goes.....

Men have a certain amount of words that they have to use a day, way way less than the women. (I've test this out so I actually believe this one.) So when they use up said amount, no amount of coaxing or bribery would get them to Since majority of men work outside the home, they've spent most of that time either talking to their co-workers, clients, bosses or whoever and by the time they get home, they're all talked out and the women, who's home all day, talking to kids all day is dying to have some adult conversation {and even if you're a woman who works outside the home, talking all day at work is probably just scratching the surface of your word limit}.

Here's an example:
Hubby comes home from work...wife greets him at the door for her usual welcome kiss.

Wife: Hi hon.
Hub: Hi
Wife: How was your day?
Hub: Fine..
Wife: I had a great(or aweful) day today and you would never guess what (insert kid name) did today. She/he did the most amazing thing (or you can point out a negative thing the kid did) today.......
{Wife then proceeds to list the million amazing (awful) things kid did.
Wife: You hungry? I made _______ for dinner and it's a new recipe, I hope you're gonna love it.

Hubby's walking toward the bedroom while the wife is relating about her day, (who she saw that day that the hubby would never guess), to change out of work clothes and so forth. He then comes back to the dinner table and dinner was served and wife is still going hundred mph on her day, what bargain she found at the store, what the teacher said about the kid. And the whole time, hubby is not saying anything.

And whenever wife pause to ask a question to the hubby, his answers are usually a one syllable word and then wife takes over again, this time catch hubby up on the latest neighborhood gossip.
I'm sure sometimes this can be a really good conversation if the woman just want to get things off her chest but if it is the kind of conversation where the wife wants feedback, it can be a very messy one cuz the wife will definitely walk away that night huffing and feeling hurt and sure enough the hubby will be denied his ambrosia, so to speak.

So ladies, if you ever get caught in this situation, catch them in the morning. They will definitely talk your ears, and of course now would be the perfect time to join a woman's group.

Another example that I find interesting is that women have the ability to multi-task whereas men, they can only focus on one task at a time. Check out this post. There's a diagram on there so focus on that diagram for a little while reading this. On that diagram, if a man was sent to the store (mall) to buy something, he goes straight to the store, buys the item which takes him about 6 to 10 minutes and comes straight home and which will probably take him no more than an hour(or more) depending on the distance.

If a woman were to run the same errand, that could actually take up the whole day..why? Because along the way, she remembers she needs to drop off or pick something up from so and so's house and of course it's very rude to just pop in and out so she does a little chit chat to catch up on things, then on the way, she might see something that catches her attention on the side of the road and gets out to admire it and I'm not even going to cover the time she gets to the store...if it's a mall, why of course she needs to check out her favorite shops so she can check out their deals and while she's at a certain store, she remembers there's a b-day coming up for one of the kids' friends so she has to go to a gift shop and so on. By the time she's done with her shopping errand, she's probably covered at least three different errands along the way.

I find these two little tidbit to be very fascinating for me because even though I'd like to think that I'm the exception to this norm, I find it's not so, I fit in there perfectly. And you know something, I actually like it, I like that my hubby is so much different than I am, because these are minor things and to me, it actually adds something to the marriage. As long as we are striving for the same goals about our family, I'm perfectly ok with a little incompatibility.

Let's see how many of you guys can contradict me on these and how many of you gals can back me up or vice versa. I dare ya!! LOL

Question for today is: How often would you like to have sexual relations? Answer for yourself and how it is compatible or not compatible with your spouse.


Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

ha! Ya know what? My husband and I were like that very scenario after our first child.

I had cabin fever so bad... cause I was pretty much stuck inside the little apartment we had.

He was nice to listen, but didn't participate to much in the discussion. The kids are older and it's better now. Partly because I work, but even when I stayed at home... like you say above... I had a play group with other Mom's, that I attended and that helped a bunch for my adult talk.

As for the question today. I honestly DON'T have a preference. Lately sex has been on my mind a lot, so I want it more but we have it at least 5 times a week. My husband however is a normal guy and wants it all.the.time, hes ready whenever and ever twice a day sometimes isn't enough... at least it seems that way! lol!

It is funny because when we were dating we had to take a compatibility test for one of my college classes, the question was pretty much the same as this one... it said, "How often do you think you guys will be intimate with one another... a)5-7 times a week b) 1-3 times a month c) a few times a year (or something like that)-- anyway I circled B 1-3 times a month. (remember I had never had sex before so I was REALLY naive)--

We weren't even suppose to know each other's answers... the teacher was going to give us our compatibility score without us knowing the others answers.

But he peeked at that questions and pretty much flipped his lid.

MSM: "1-3 times a MONTH!!! Shelle there are 7 days in a WEEK! YOU will want it at LEAST once a day! Be logical about this!??!!"

Ummmmm yea, so he made me change my answer. And he was right about DOING it once a day... but for most of our marriage it wasn't ME doing the WANTING part of it... kwim?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

OH and the only thing that is different is at the mall... my husband is the one wandering and taking all the time. Me? I know what I want, bee line for that store... wander around THAT particular store, but then I'm out.

Denise said...

I'm cracking up here. When Andy gets home from work I'm pooped out. I've wrangled six kids during the day, worked, done household chores, started supper and done some homework. By the time he gets home I just want him to take over so I can reach for the Calgon. He wants to be all chatty Cathy about his day. He's definitely a talker. Last night, while I was trying to catch up on some reading for my class starting tonight, I (accidentally) abruptly said, "I hate your secretary and I don't even know her. All you and your boss seem to do is whine about how awful she is. Fire her for Pete's sake!"

As for sex... four kids that live here in an average size house with wooden floors on a raised foundation. Pffft. We don't get sex nearly as often as we both want it. When I get fiesty or super grumpy all of a sudden, he knows it's not PMS and to just take me by the hand and lead me to the bedroom, no matter what time of day it is, and it's time to "wrestle". I get grumpy. It's like my caffiene fix or something. Definitely not a daily occurrence around here, but we make up for missed days when we don't have the kids lol.

Cookie Crums said...

We both work outside the home so we normally chat away when we first get home just catching up. :) It depends on how our days went though... if one of us had a rough day, we keep the chatting short and sweet until we've had time to wind down. Then it normally becomes chat time once we're in the bed and the little one is alseep for the night. We have some of our best conversations late at night snuggled up in bed.

As far as sex.... almost daily unless the husband is out working until all hours. So I guess an average of 6 days a week (with a BJ or two thrown in b/c my man is all about them [grin])

Homer and Queen said...

Great post! And....everyday!!

Anjeny said...

Shelle..I can see that SEX is all that is cluttering up your mind these days...eheheh..that question was sooo random I tell ya, kinda throw me off guard.

So I got kind of a confession to make...the first scenario I wrote about was me and my hub the first five years of marriage, when our kids were small, all under the age of five, I think the first three kids. My hubby was going to school and I was home with the kids and living in the student married housing.

I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep because I was itching for adult conversation(I'm a very chatty person) and when he would come home, tired and practically a hermit, it was awful trying to have a conversation when his side of the convo is a one syllable.

But now that the kids have grown and to have a couple teenage girls at home do make a difference. Those girls can totally carry out a conversation when the mood strikes them and plus I have that woman group I belong to and of course, the wonderful functions of a phone...when I want to vent, I just picked up the phone and call a friend. And then since hubby's gotten a much less stressful job, we have time for conversation now and sometimes in his free time, he call me up on the phone just to chat.

Anjeny said...

Oh yeah about the sex....we have it as often as the time permits. Now that I am not too worried about having another baby, I am always up for it. We have a studio that we usually rent to people..since we don't have renters there, we use that place for that

Have I mentioned that I think about sex all.the.time now too that I'm older? LOL Yeah and the hubby is always in the mood so I'm pretty sure he's strutting around thinking he's died and gone to heaven since he's now about to get it whenever he wants..lmao.

Anjeny said...

Denise, I love how your hubby seem to know you enough to know exactly what to do when you get grumpy, instead of aggravating you by asking if it's PMS

Cookie...I like the night time chat in bed but hubby likes the early morning chat, when he's rested so we compromise a lot. If it's on a weekend night, we would stay up chatting in bed but if it's during the weekdays, I try going to bed early so I can get up early to have our little chatting time. I'm working on trying to get myself get up early enough where we can go across to the beach to have a little walk and swim before he goes off to work.

binks said...

Funny - my husband is the chatterbox and I am the quiet one. We work in the same place and see each other all day long. He is constantly asking about who I talked to, what happened at work or telling me about some new thing he created or fixed, his political views or some financial opinion he has.
I love our conversations, but occasionally I would just rather read or watch TV.

As for the sex part, not nearly enough for either of us. He is a morning person and I am a night owl, so our sleep patterns are completely opposite. So, we try to wrangle it into the schedule. Pretty darn sad.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I'm with Binks. My hub is a chatterbox (takes after his mom). He wants to talk everything through. I'm definitely the quiet one. I live in my head a lot.

And Shelle, I know exactly why you have sex on your mind so much latley. It starts with an S and it rhymes with rage. It's your favorite color. You're probably painting your walls that color right now.

I bet your hub loves the foreplay he provides. hee hee

I can't believe Queenie is having sex every day! Holy Cow Queenie. And the rest of you are 5 and 6 times a week? And Anjeny has her head in the gutter all the time?


My hub and I are very compatible in that area. It's NOT every day though (thank the Lord) Am I weird?

We never fight about sex. But he probably gets in the mood more often than I do. I am laughing so hard at Shelle and her 3 times a month prediction. ha ha I will say we definitely do it more than that.

But EVERYDAY? Ain't you guys tired?

Oh, I can just see Sage coming to chew me out and call me a dummy.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

hahahahahah @ starts with S and rhymes with age! lol! Way to play off my post yesterday Crash! That was funny! ANd you would be laughing even harder at my prediction if you would have seen his face! Priceless! Make me laugh EVERY TIME I think about it!

My thinking about S.E.X came before I met the blessed man we know as Southern Sage. IN fact it was right around my birthday... when I turned well that OOOOOLLLLLDDDD age I turned. It's like someone came in and flipped my sexual drive on! It's CRAZY actually... I don't know how MEN deal with it???'s annoying! lol!

Cookie Crums-- I have to quote you exactly! "As far as sex.... almost daily unless the husband is out working until all hours. So I guess an average of 6 days a week (with a BJ or two thrown in b/c my man is all about them [grin])" OHMYGOSH... that's about us also... lol... except I'm the one working at all odd hours and umm I'm WAY to selfish to do the other thing you mentioned all that much. But I LOVED that you mentioned it! GO COOKIE CRUMS! lol!

Anjeny--so this THINKINKG about sex gets WORSE as I get OLDER??? OH GREAT!!!

BINKS--"wrangle it into a schedule" actually my friend and her husband do that... they have certain days and the the other days are her FREE days with no worries about being pestered for sex. It works fantastic for them!

Anonymous said...

CTD: Her hubs likes the foreplay?? He pays me for it!! Its like a second job for me!!

I wouldn't chew you out!

Cookie Crums said...

Shelle..... I know what you mean about the selfish part but I assure you he makes up for it later on!!! LOL And a little bit of bribery is not beneath me either. :)

April said...

We both work outside of the home, so when we get home, we have a lot to talk about. (we both deal with some craziness at work)

As for shopping, HE is the one who takes HOURS! It drives me crazy. If I have to go to the store for milk, I come home with milk. He comes home with $100 worth of groceries (mostly junk food) because we "needed" it. =)

And for the sex....we have it at least once a day. Our sex drives are pretty even, although I think mine is a tad bit more demanding than his. He gets oral from me a couple times a week too. There's no problems between us, especially in the sex dept.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Hey...thanks for the compliment on my post.

I think I bore my wife with stories from work. She's too tired to care by the end of the day.

As for the question...we have a total imbalance right now and I think we're trying to get our equilibrium back. My drive is greater, but I try not to become like those dads on a sitcom, always pleading for sex when the wife isn't in the mood.

IWA (e - va) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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