Friday, July 10, 2009

What Makes a Man Tick?

I have really enjoyed this weeks discussion on compatibility. It has made me do a little self reflecting into my own marriage and I've decided that even if you're not completely compatible with your spouse, as long as there is love and commitment a marriage can still work beautifully.

As long as a woman understands what makes a man tick.

My husband is in the medical field, but he also teaches a marriage and pregnancy health class every at the university nearby, which means he likes to pat the kids on the back and ask questions like, "How are you with this stage of the family life cycle? Are you satisfied?" and the kids reply, "Yes, dad, our physical, social, emotional, intellectual and moral needs are being met, but thanks for asking."

One of the activities he likes to do in class is split into groups--the marrieds and the singles-- and facilitate a lively discussion to determine what they perceive as the #1 perk of being married.

Surprisingly, (or maybe not) the females all overwhelmingly agree it was companionship.

But guess what the males unanimously agree is thee best thing about being married . . . Financial security.

Financial security?

HUH??!? I thought for sure it would be a three letter word.

Apparently the males explained that marriage brings two incomes to the table and you can get better paying jobs when you're married because it looks better on your resume.

First they want our bodies and now they're using us for our money?

Does anyone else think this is backwards? Aren't we using them for their money?

Talk amongst yourselves.  

The Crash Test Dummy

Question for today is: Is it important for you to live near family or pre-established friends?


Denise said...

Yanno what, there is some truth to that... men and money... theory. However, why are there a billion and one SAHM's then? I wish I could quit my job and go to school, but I'm too pigheaded to let go of the little income I bring to the table. It's like my security blankey. My shrink says it's b/c I was raised by a single mom and that's my way of keeping myself separate (hello - i'm the shrink). Voices in my head?

Anyhoodle - living near family or friends? Naw. I moved around a lot as a kid and I make friendly pretty easily. I'm not from a close-knit family, so living in the same town with them isn't a requirement. Besides, they all live in some Mayberry Hell town on the eastern edge of Texas. No thanks. My guy is totally different. He never left his 5 mile radius where he lived his ENTIRE FLIPPING LIFE until he met me. I lived outside the city and he moved here, a whopping 15 miles from his stomping grounds. It was traumatic for him.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

ya know...I thought I was marrying money. He was single had the was of cash and I was in LUST.

But his wad of cash was a bunch of $1 bills and his single man income was GROSSLY less when I came into the picture... sigh.

So he must have used me for my debt... it must have turned him on or something? Who knew... Looks and debt are a deadly combination!!!

BUt I can see that. Financial Security is very important to men because USUALLY they are solely responsible for it... and usually get the better paying jobs or earn more than a female, on average. So I get it.

BUt the three letter word is probably still before that, the kids probably just didn't want to say it OUT LOUD... ya know? hehe!

I love my family... but what's most immportant to me is My hubs and my kids. I can live anywhere as long as they are with me and my hubs has a good stable supporting job. I'm a social butterfly or hornet, whichever you think of me, but I love people so making new friends isn't a big deal for me.

And thanks to FaceBook and blogs and twitter I don't need to worry about losing old friends! :)

Missty said...

I know neither of us married for money security!! LOL We had NOTHING!! I think I married for the "potential" I saw in him. I knew he would do just fine someday. And he has. Matt came from a 2 income family so I was a bit concerned that maybe he thought I should work like his mom did. I did work for a few years, helped get our first home, etc. Then, quit to take care of our own home, kids, etc. I am glad he sees how worthwhile it is for me to be home and take care of all the needs that need to be done here.

And for the Question of the day: No its not imporant at all. We live a mile from some family and see them 2 times a year. And the family that lives across the country, we see about the same, twice a year. lol

Shirley said...

I'm with Missty. I could definately see the potential in my husband. Who knows why he married me.

I would love to live near family but it's been 28 years since we've had the chance to do so. We're excited that our oldest daughter is moving close by. At least we'll see two of our grandchildren more than a few times a year.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

My wife is a SAHM, so she offers me no financial security. That deadbeat!

As for the question...we live across the country from our family, so our friends are very important. My inner circle are a bunch of guys that I have known since my freshman year in college. We're actually getting close to 2 decades of friendship. It's really great to have a deep history with these guys.

Anonymous said...

Well the bride married me for my stunning good looks, genetic make up, wit, charm, superior intelligence and because I'm not hairy.

Financial security????????????

Sure they don't the bride. In our deal she is the purchasing department and she is dadgum good at it!!!!

Anjeny said...

I thought it was the other way around. There's no way my hub could've married me for financial security cuz let's face it, I'm broke...lmao. I for sure thought he married me for sex...I married him to get absolutely gorgeous looking kids, don't tell him that, he doesn't know

As for the, I don't think it's that big of a deal to live close to family. We lived a couple blocks from my hub's family when we first got married and we hardly did any family things together, they hardly visit and I felt like the only time we got together besides special occasion was when they need some thing from us. As for my side of the family, it's pretty dramatic being around them so I am really glad we live far away from both sides of the family. My kids and hub is my family and I can live anywhere in the world as long as they're with me, plus I can easily make friends wherever I go.

IWA (e - va) said...

Anjeny...too funny! Your kids ARE gorgeous and guess why? cause they look like you.. you should ask him, I bet he thought the same reason!

So i asked my husband what he feels his #1 perk is in our marriage, He said, "Sex and your cooking!"

I also think, Companionship (and all the great laughs)

For me it is very important that i live near family (although there are some downfalls)! I love that my kids get to play with their cousins everyday and also it allows me to drop my kids off with any of my six sisters without any questions! we get together all the time and hang out all the time (daily)... maybe were just weird!

I have had my best friends from Elementary school and luckily we all live only a few miles apart and I love them to death, But when i lived in Utah, it wasnt hard, we emailed weekly and Im a social butterfly! although now when im with my girlfriends and see other friends from school or play, it's kind of weird!

Amber Lynae said...

Because we were married we were able to have financial aid to help pay for our education. Since I graduated a year before him I got to play the role of Sugar Momma for a year. Since then He has been the bread winner and I have been... well the one complaining about the housework. :) Well, I try not to do that too much.

Is it important to me to live close to family or pre-established friends? Yes it is but not as much as it used to be. I live a few houses down from my sister. I love having her so close. And I am a 7 hour drive from my parents. During college we lived a city away from his grandparents, mom and siblings. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all the closeness.
Yet there is still part of me that wants to live abroad and experience more of the world. So while there is still a reluctance to create that distance. I am not as against the idea as I used to be.