ID: Intimacy Dysfunction

Many of us have heard of Erectile Dysfunction, or ED for short— but what about the lack of intimacy otherwise known as intimacy dysfunction.

How often do we find that we can't keep our hands off of each other when you first meet someone— only to find that the longer you know them the less you touch one another. Is this expected, or is it something that can be corrected.

I heard someone say that they do not like to be touched when they sleep. It makes me wonder if there is any intimacy in the bedroom for them. What about those people who move around a lot when they sleep. Does this effect how you cuddle with someone at night? Are you afraid to spoon with someone because you don't want an elbow in the eye the next time they turn? Then there are those who snore when they sleep. Is it annoying to try and be close to someone only to get an ear-full and be kept up all night? All of these seem like valid reasons for giving up on intimacy, but I do not believe that intimacy is restricted to just the bedroom either.

So often we find ourselves sitting in our favorite chair which only has room for one. How often do you and your partner settle together on the couch instead? Do you take the initiative and sit in the chair with your partner regardless— or are you too afraid you might break the arms off the chair.

Perhaps having children can be blamed. You certainly do not want your children to get the wrong impression about mommy and daddy. Is it too embarrassing to be close to your spouse when the children are present? I think it all depends on what form of intimacy you are engaged in. How often do you scratch your children's back— why not include your spouse as well.

Not to compare ourselves to primates, but I tend to see that they are comfortable with grooming one another. I knew a girl who liked to have her hair brushed. Why not brush your spouse's hair, or give them a back rub. It does not have to lead to something— it just needs to show that you are willing to be close.

I know that I am physically shy. It takes a lot of effort for me to be close— but I am trying. Sometimes all I need to do is just sit closer to my wife to show that I want to be close. Sometimes extending a hand when you are taking a walk is just enough of a sign that says "I want to be a bit more intimate".

I do not think that the man is the only one to blame for intimacy dysfunction though many stereotypes indicate that this is the case. It takes two people to have a relationship and intimacy should be a concerted effort between both parties. If we choose to we can beat ID without having to wait for the drug companies to come up with some new drug Intimadrol which cures this dysfunction.

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CaJoh