Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Looking your best

Matt was telling me how nice I looked the other day. He loves it when I am wearing a flirty skirt! He does this quiet a bit... I know I have a keeper. ;o)

But as I was busy with my day, running errands, helping boys do a few errands and took my oldest son out to lunch. I was looking at people. There are a lot of people who really don't care how they look. Do women think that baggy sweats with their husbands t-shirt really looks good. Or the men who aren’t matching or wearing sneakers with dress pants? I think some women try to be just as plain looking or as old looking as possibly.

I swear I have a sister and a friend who "LOOK" and act old! They both try to look as if they are 20 years older than what they are. I think she thinks "Modest" Means frumpy! (But then again the very same sister thinks I am immature! LOL So maybe there is something there.) I'm not saying act or dress like your 20 year old daughter if you’re in your 40’s. I am saying look and act your age, not 20 and not 65 if your 40!! Same goes for the men. Pull yourselves together.

Looking good is important to me. It’s important that I don't look like I just rolled out of bed, when Matt walks back in the door at night. It’s important that when I am with my boys they aren't embarrassed that their mom is looking "frumpy". And it makes me feel better during the day to know that I look ok.

Right now I need to loose a few pounds. I am not happy about the way I look or feel. And will be working on it. But I still make sure I have some nice clothes on, a bit of make-up and my hair is done.

So for the sake of discussion here. If your spouse is not looking “up to par” in your eyes, do you say something? Or do you stay quiet - not hurt their feelings? Is their looks up to them only? If they have let themselves go since you were married do you have the right to say something? Have you had similar discussions with your spouse?

Missty from over at Life is Good


Danielle said...

I totally agree with you on this. I am constantly trying not to judge people, but I don't get why you wouldn't spend a few minutes to make yourself look the best you can look. I always try to look cute even when I wear sweats. It makes me feel good and confident and any little bit helps.
I married my husband knowing that he doesn't care how he looks, so I can't bitch. BUT, I can wish! :)

T said...

I think the key part of all this is that your husband said you were looking Good!

Just like I'm more likely to clean the kitchen if my husband says "thanks" for the nice dinner I'm a LOT more likely to pluck my eyebrows if he appreciates the time I put into ironing a smoking hot dress and doing my hair :)

I'll admit I had the "frumpy" thing going on for awhile... I had gained a few more pounds than I wanted to shop for...(which I've done all over again recently) - but I LIKE looking "put together" now and refuse to leave the house in junk clothes (unless it's 6 in the morning and I'm going for a walk... then don't even ASK what I look like!)

Anonymous said...

Everyone should try and look the best they can - not in expensive clothes, etc. but look groomed, etc. I know what you mean,. some people in public don't look like they have even brushed their hair. Who wants to come home to a spouse looking like that.

As far as gaining weight - that is hard. I think you should tell the other - hey you are putting on some weight I am worried about your health, etc.

But then that might add extra stress, if their is some in the relationship.

As far as frumpy an looking old - I work with a lady who dresses and acts a good 20 years older than what she is. why? As well as her hair cut - big 80's hair.. It sounds like I am judging her and I am not, but why not try and be somewhat easy on the eyes. kwim


valerie said...

You mean like go outside to get the mail or take the kids to school with no make up on and your jammies? HECK NO! Ok I did take the kids in my jammies but I tried to tame my hair and brushed on some face powder. I like to look nice and put together whenever I'm out. Since I've had kids, and we live in a small town, I've toned it down a bit. Hubby is a total t- shirt and jeans guy. He looks soo hot when he dresses up but it's pretty rare. Just on sundays. Or if I managed to drag him to a wedding. He could care less if he went to the store in his greased stained jeans if he needed something. They are pretty bad. I refuse to go with him. lol

Anonymous said...

It makes a big difference when your spouse makes a point of telling you that you look nice. Mine never does. Sometimes he will tell me he likes a certain outfit, but it's not that he likes me in it. He just likes the outfit. We have a few male friends who always tell me how nice I look. My husband's hurtful remarks include, "He can't really see you, he's as blind as a bat." or "He would say that to anyone." As much as I appreciate the, "Hello beautiful" from a friend, it sure would be nice if it came from my husband once in a while. Even when I tell him he's lookin' sharp, I get nothing in return. It hurts.

Missty said...

Danielle - yeah I guess if you knew your honey didn't care to look nice, then nothing to complain about. lol

T- I agree it is nice when they can compliment you. My dh is GREAT at that.

SS- that is my sister and friend dresses so old, not sure why. Both use to not.

Valerie - Thanks for the memory. Oh MY GOSH!! The ONE time I decide to drive my kids to school in my PJ's I get a flat tire!! And I left my cell phone charging! I pretty much died right there!! lol Not a good day!

Anon - I am sorry. That really is pretty hurtful. And he might just eat his words someday... Another might see you as a catch. Then it will be his loss.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I'm such a girly girl! I LOVE to get dressed up! Especially for my guy. Having said that... I work out a lot, teach dance, and take class. I'm kinda always in work out clothes. If we have to be somewhere I thrown on jeans and a t shirt and my hat and head off cause my husband doesn't like to b late. But I always try to LOOK like I've done something with myself and it DOES make u feel better-sexier. And I love that feeling! But I also love the feeling of a t shirt and warm up pant! Lol

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I think I might say something depending on the occasion. He has a few shirts that are too big for him (he's lost about 20 lbs since we moved here) and I keep telling him they make him look a lot bigger but he wears them anyway claiming 'comfort'.
Now for work he's in a full suit and let me say, there's nothing frumpy about him in a suit and tie. Nothing at all ;) I also enjoy when he goes biking because then he's in his racing stuff.

I try to make sure I look decent before leaving the house. Mostly I do jeans and t-shirts/sweaters because it's never very warm here. The few days it's been nice I pull on a cotton skirt or shorts and hubby likes that very much. I think it's important to look put together before going out, even if it's just to the store. I always run into someone when I'm less than good looking, lol.

At least brush your teeth and comb your hair!

Anonymous said...

I love to look nice and put together and I am 95% of the time, but if I have to run to the store with no makeup or in sweats then I will. My hubby ALWAYS comments that I am beautiful NO MATTER WHAT I AM WEARING, he is awesome like that!