Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Money Issues...

I hear all the time that money is the biggest thing that couples fight over...  and if I'm being totally honest I will admit that it's certainly come into play a time or two...

But we don't fight about the lack of money, and not because there IS no lack - it's just that that stress seems to bring us together.  When there is less - we spend less, simple as that.  I actually get downright creative when there is little $ to go around and I try new recipes - re-arrange furniture - clean like a demon...  It's good for us, little as I like to admit.

When there is more... well, let's just say that we have a few issues...

I see his parents - one is a saver, one is a frugal spender... great pair.  I see my parents - one is a non-frugal spender, one is a hoarder... they've made it work.  I see us...  one frugal spender, one non-frugal spender...  yikes!

The real problem comes when he buys something he wants...  because regardless of the price of said item - I immediately think that I then deserve something equal to it...  I of course NEVER spend equal to it (usually far less) but I do want to treat myself!  

He downloads an album off of iTunes?  I use a 50% off coupon at the scrapbook store.
He buys a new pair of pants for work?  I get a shirt I was eyeing...
He restrings his tennis rackets?  I get my hair cut.

He buys a brand new mountain bike that costs more than my first car?  I use it as the excuse for EVERY purchase in the past 12 years that I couldn't justify any other way.

Hey, I didn't say it was healthy, I'm just admitting that my brain works this way!  Don't worry, I'm working on it... I grounded myself from the scrapbook store 2 months ago... heaven (and anyone who's ever seen this) KNOWS I don't need anymore!

FYI - I'm out of town, so it's not that I'm ignoring your witty responses... I'm just probably computer-less for the day...  I've hooked up the man's blackberry (I have a cheapie phone) to be able to scan though... so I'll try to drop by :)


Shirley said...

I've been trying to remember if my husband and I have ever really fought over money. I don't think so, but that doesn't mean I don't get frustrated every now and then. My husband and I are both quite frugal so that helps, but my husband has no clue how much anything costs. He's living in a 1970's cost bubble because I've always taken care of the bills. A few times I've had to be away from home for a month or more. I could count on his calls of, "I thought the cable bill was $30!" (It was - in 1982) and "How come the water bill is so high?" (Because you have a nasty habit of taking a shower every day and wanting clean clothes) and on and on. Now when he asks about a bill, I answer, "Just pay it!"

I'm with you. My husband bought his Harley almost seven years ago (on my birthday, no less) and I'm still using it as my excuse for buying anything I want. He's just lucky I don't really want that much.

Missty said...

Way funny Shirely! lol.

We usually don't argue over money. Its prety simple - Matt knows he makes enought to pay the bills with some extra. I pay the bills, so whatever is left is to spend. Savings, etc. is already taken out, before it gets to our checking account. Every so often Matt will want to discuss our bills and he is always shocked at the price of things. Same as your dh Shirley, he is clueless to prices! lol Right now there is no extra, we are paying for an unemployed son... all his bills. ugh!

Youngblood4ever said...

$$$ is our biggest issue. It is what leads to almost every other problem we have. I have to work because we screwed our finances pretty early on in the marriage, then compounded the problem by having 4 kids in 6 years. Kids are EXPENSIVE! Anyhow, since I work we only see each other on the weekends (we work opposite shifts so we don't have to pay for babysitters). Our sex-life suffers since we aren't with each other more than just weekends. It just sucks!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

hahahaahaha! Sorry this makes me laugh. I am SOLE distributor of funds in my household... even though my guy makes most of the money. He also gets surprised when I tell him to pay something... he's like HUH? HOw did it get that high?

So that's funny that it happens to you guys also! That's what's GREAT about blogging!

anyway... we don't really fight about money... totally the root of all evil... but we do discuss a lot about how he is going to MAKE money... so maybe that counts as fighting about money?

I just wonder... when is it EVER enough what he brings in??? Cause I always seem to find somewhere that extra new money he is receiving can go!!! So it seems there is NEVER enough... it's a problem I have, we can discuss it another time!


Anjeny said...

Shelle, I often wonder the same thing..I suppose when one start spending less than what one make, maybe that's when it might be ENOUGH. I don't know, has anyone ever come to that yet?

T..love your topic. I have been thinking about this one a lot. My hubby usually don't fight over money, actually, it wasn't something we ever fight about. I was really glad for that especially early on in our marriage because I saw a lot of my friends had problems in their marriage due to money.

I've always been very cautious when spending money, especially money that someone else earns. I know, he's my hubby so what he earns is mine but even still, I always thought that if I was the one working, I would want the spender to be more considerate of my feelings and how hard I am working to earn that money you know. My hubby is very very careful with money, he handles our finance because quite frankly, I can't stand it.

I thought it was interesting about how you match up dollar for dollar on his spending with your spending. I tend to do that sometime too. Actually, I've done it a time or two and my hubby has figured out that's how my mind works so he's been even more cautious about what is necessary and what is not necessary to spend money on...he's now cutting his own hair..lol..or have me do it just so I don't use that against him and go match up that haircut expense with something I want..lol. Not that we don't allow each other money to spend on just "us" as individually.

I like this post and all the comments so far.

valerie said...

That is sooo how we work it in this house although sometimes his purchase (like his 68 Camero) is a lot bigger than mine. We are putting on an addition to our kitchen though, hmmm...what kind of counters do I want? ;)

Anonymous said...

We don't fight about it either. I wear the belt around here!
I say, she does!

That being said since Obamanomics kicked it I did start looking at thebills, yup, cut the cell phone way back, way more texting since thats free, cut all the channels off the tv except the basic package, they have to use the same towel twice, they can only run the AC when I';m here, etc etc.

T said...

you guys all make me laugh - glad I finally got back to town so I could see what fun I missed!