In the post entitled PAST Missty approached a somewhat personal subject, but one that is heavily involved in a good and may I say GREAT relationship. Sex.
Unfortunately the comments were slim.
One of those comments hit on something that I want to approach about his blog and kind of tell you our VISION when starting this blog.
Here is the comment. The part of the comment I wanted to focus on is bolded:
You are right on girl! Being compatable sexually is a top priority for most marriages. And if your not, it can be a BIG problem in a marriage. Why do you think there are many couples in counseling, or divorices. Its not the only reason why they are, but there are a good many people who aren't sexually compatable, then the uncompatablility moves to other areas of the marriage.
you test drive cars, and other major purchases why not your partner for life.
I guess you can make your first ride in a car - special. Why try it out.
Those people who say they waited, half are probably lying. And those who didn't respond are afraid to put their real feelings out there. For fear of being judged, etc. Or maybe a partner might read this and realize they thought they were a virgin.
Yes most grow up with the "wait" morals. Of course. But reality isn't that way.
This could of been a great discussion for a blog like this. To bad it didn't. It does set the tone for how this blog could go - tip toe around issues. Not really the good the bad and the ugly. shame.
We stated at the first that it wasn't a blog for kids, a mommy blog, or a daddy blog... it was a blog for adults about adult relationships.
So SEX will and should be discussed. Along with money, divorce, annoying spouses, communication, etc.
The thing that we asked the contributors and those that Guest contribute is that they check back regularly or follow comments so that they can respond to what YOU as a commenter have to say. So that this blog has sort of a chat/message board/ blog feel to it.
So in order for all of that to work and help this blog continue and progress to where we, Andrea and I, would like it to go is for YOU as the reader/commenter/ contributor to discuss the things brought up in a post!
I understand that with each personality some will tip toe around the issue and some will come right out and say what they feel. If you are shy in letting people know who you are, PLEASE don't hesitate to make an ANONYMOUS comment.
That is what WE WANT. Different ideas and personalities coming together to discuss life and things that come along in a relationship.
The only thing we ask you is the only thing we asked our contributors... be classy and try not to get offended.
Thanks for those of you that have Guest Posted, commented, and contributed.
I know for me this blog has helped me open my eyes to things I didn't think about before.
One last thing. WE need TOPICS! If you guys have ideas of things you would like discussed here but want someone else to write about it... please leave any ideas in comments. Again, we would always love for you to GUEST POST!!!
Love,
Co-Creator of Real World Venus vs. Mars
17 comments:
Hi Shelle, I guess I've totally missed out on that great post about sex. Dang summer...now that kids are out of school, looks like any electronic equipment we have in this house have been taken over by kids. Looks like most everyone is being occupied with summer or what have ya.
I've scrolled down and read Missty's post...it really was a great one. I read all the comments on that post and everyone has a some great points there.
You've the right idea about this blog and I like the fact that even though we've touched on a lot of different topics of relationships, there hasn't been any nasty or offensive comments. Thanks for keeping it classy and more of a mature nature. I will be posting something soon....later!
I also missed the post, but I agree with what you have said here. I think many of our problems as a society stem from not being able to talk to each other in an open manner. Sort of like when we become new mothers. If someone had bothered to tell us how hard it is, instead of telling us what a beautiful magical time it was, we might have had more realistic expectations.
I think in order for people to realize they are normal, that their relationships are normal, there has to be honest feedback in forums just like this.
boobs is always a good topic. Just sayin.
I think I commented on the post. The commenter is correct though.
I have to say I've really enjoyed reading and commenting on this blog. The conversations are about "real" life issues....with different perspectives which I enjoy!
I got the response about being a guest poster. I'm thinking about what I would post about....the money/account issue is what I mentioned. And several people commented on that from my comment. So not sure if that would be redundant or not.
I'm all for discussing boobs if that's what will bring SS around (and I'm pretty sure it will... seeing as I've seen him mention the "ladies" in two comments just today!
shoot - I'm pretty open to discussing drugs, sex, and rock and roll too (although I'm only well versed in one of those aforementioned topics...)
Hmmm... okay - I'll be working on one soon :)
I keep forgetting to read this blog, so I'll just add it to my blog list to remember!
I think one topic that would be great to discuss is how spouses don't tell each other what they're really feeling. (if you haven't done it already) They don't want their spouse to feel burdened with their problems so they keep it inside instead of sharing how they feel. Sacrifices are a given when your a parent and spouse, but it's not good when you make sacrifices that make you unhappy.
haha - there you go, one post complete with boobs :) Probably not what SS was looking for, but such is life right?
With 12 responses, the "Past" comments were pretty average. Although I didn't respond, I certainly wouldn't want to be told I was probably lying. That's not exactly respectful.
Maybe you weren't lying - but many lie about such subjects. Its a fact!
Here is a study:
"Of those interviewed in 2002, 95% reported they had had premarital sex. Among women born in the 1940s, nearly nine in 10 did. At the same time, people are waiting longer to marry; 2005 data show median age at first marriage is just over 25 for women and 27 for men."
People just wont admit to it. Its been happening for a very long time. Its sex, not a big deal.
It's true. If you are the 50% that don't lie about it then you'd probably get a little defensive about the comment.
But It's also true what she is saying. Half of people that say that, do in fact, lie about it.
And it depends on who you are having sex with, if it's a big deal or not.
To me... SEX is a huge deal. I was not lying when I said I waited, AND I still believe in sex with your partner being compatible. So I get what Missty and Anon SS was saying.
Thanks for all the ideas and comments guys. Keep them coming.
Anjeny--we REALLY would love for you to write one up! lol! :) I know... it's summer and busy!
Missy-Thanks... you said that really well!
Southern Sage--the commenter is ALWAYS correct! hehe! And go ahead and write one up about boobs... I'm not sure what you will discuss with it, but write it up for a GUEST post... I DARE ya! :)
Cookie Crums--there is still a lot to discuss about the Money/Financial issue... so write something up and do a GUEST POST... your perspective just might be what someone needed or wanted to hear!
T--read my response to ANJENY! And which two out of the three you mentioned could you give advice on??? lol
HK--that's GREAT! Would you like to Guest Post about that topic or just want someone else? We've discussed something similar, but not the twist you put on it... let me know! :)
I just want people to feel OPEN and comfortable when commenting... As long as we keep an open mind and not take offense to what people have said then it will work out really well!
I thought it was classily done. I didn't think anything was hidden.
heheheh
I'm gonna go to T's blog and say boobs!
I am SO totally lost in this, but one word keeps coming to mind::::::::::
anonymous
nuff said.
I think we've had lots of great comments and relating to the sex issue, which was what we'd hoped for in the actual sex related post. I'd love it if some of you also continued to leave topic ideas too. What is it YOU want to read about?
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