Here is MY real life and spending in MY coupledom...
When I spend money it's usually for small things but they can add up... For instance Costco, is of the devil, and I can't walk out of there without spending less than $100.00. Little things... they add up. A shirt, a pair of shoes, getting may hair done, mani/pedi... you understand?
When my GUY spends money it's on a BIG purchase. Like gadgets, computers, mountain biking, snowboards... stuff like that.
So he may not SPEND as consistently as I do... but what he DOES spend money on we usually have to dip quite a bit into savings to purchase it, not saying he doesn't look for the best deal, but they COST a LOT.
So then this is what happens:
MSM: "I need a new bike." as he scrolls through Craigs list.
Me: "okay, let me just go pick the money tree and get right on that!"
Then he mentions some stuff I got, little stuff... it's not an argument as much as it's an accusation.
And you can probably guess where it goes from there.
Ending with, "If we cut back on our spending then me being able to get a new bike wouldn't be such a problem."
Me: "We as in I?"
MSM: "I don't spend money, yet it's funny how whenever I want something for myself we never have money to get it!"
Me: "Want something that costs less then!"
What do you guys think? Do you guys run into this problem? How is this even solvable???
Love,
16 comments:
hehe
Yeah I think a lot of folks run into that. Gotta have a plan!
Oh man...that's why I always refer to a guy's spending as "big boy toys." They are ALWAYS more expensive. But for the most part - less frequent. It's the trick in getting them to see that even though we (women) may purchase more frequently - they spend more. That's why a budget is necessary. Work-in all the woman-stuff and the man-stuff. That way he can save for his big items while you are breaking even regularly.
Funny, I was just going to post something similar. Hubby doesn't mind spending money on one of his car parts but, he hates to spend money on say a new vacuum. I love to bargain shop so although I might seem like I am always buying something, mine don't usually come anywhere close to his. His purchases are usually way bigger than mine. Hmmm..I'm way behind. I better get shopping!
Sage... Yes a plan would be good. Ummm how to plan is the prob
Christy...oh I like...good idea!
Valerie... Dang! I didn't read drafts... I'm sorry...still post!
A-MEN! We're right there with you. We've found, lately, that what works for us is for me to have a monthly "everything" budget. I take a certain amount of cash out of the ATM once a month and when it's gone, it's gone. The downside? I'm expected to get groceries, haircuts,kid's shoes, etc. out of that money which means that it really doesn't stretch THAT far. Maybe I should re-think this "plan".
Shelle- Don't worry about it! Seriously, your post said it waay better than mine! :)
My daughter and son-in-law each have "wish list accounts." I'm not sure if they're real accounts or just written down somewhere. A set amount of money is put into each account each month. A vacuum certainly wouldn't come out of wish list money. That's a necessity. Neither would hair cuts or clothing. A new bike or Indianapolis 500 tickets would. A new sewing machine or a sisters' weekend would. If one wants several small things - no problem. If the other wants to save for years for something bigger, no problem either. Works well for them.
Wixom--okay, well that actually makes sense, except for the trying to make that money STRETCH, but I do like the "when it's gone it's gone"... I think I would have to have a separate account... kinda what Shirley mentioned!
I love that idea actually... really really love it Shirley!
and Valerie--WHATEVER... you write so well!!! :)
Seriously guys you are helping out so much!
I guess, we never worry about who got more, or who spent more. If I need something, I get it or wait and ask for it for a gift. Same with my husband. He gets it or asks for whatever for a gift. But then again Matt is always spending on me. Always!
And thank goodness my husband gets the whats important stuff. As in - a nice purse is just as important to me as a whatever expensive tool, or sporting event is to him. KWIM. So, if I see the need of a good vacuum, it is no less important than his new _____.
I love your kids idea Shirely. Great idea for those who might need it.
Wow, that is exactly how my life goes. I am the daily spender with small here and there purchases. He doesn't spend any money day to day, but THEN he buys $1000.00 worth of jeep parts or something like that. They equal about the same, but I am the one that makes us poor month to month. Hmmmm. Double standards much????
ah... this... SO familiar to my life...
can I get a cutting from that money tree of yours?
Missty... you honestly sound like you have the perfect marriage, please write a book, your hubby is DEFINITELY a keeper!!! :)
Danielle---uuuhhhh yea, exactly! lol!
T--our money tree sucks! lol!
I'm thinking the same thing Shelle...Missty does sound like she's got THE perfect marriage, lucky you Missty.
And Shelle, that is soo my life too...lol...hubby's spending always cost a ton of money. Luckily for me, his big spending are usually things that are necessary stuff, he buys a new electric saw, he buys me a new sewing machine or a vacuum, stuff like that..they're usually things we need for the house.
I have a friend who in their marriage, what they do is each month they were allowed a certain amount of money they spend just on themselves that they call "play money", no bills, mortgage or anything like that, just on whatever they want to spend on themselves...for example, if they decided each month, each of them is allowed 200 dollars, that's what they get to use on themselves individually, once it's gone, it's gone..they wait til the next month to get money again. If for some reason, the hubby ends up spending more than that, the wife is then allowed to match that amount of in her spending. She was smart enough to when she does grocery shopping(they also have a budget just for that purchase), she would look for bargains and if there are changes left over from that grocery run, she add that onto her her play money.
Maybe you MSM can try this one out.
Oi! I know this one! The things Hubby wants are like in the thousand(s) of dollar(s) range (ahem like the new Trek Madone bike he bought). Or he needs new tires, or bike shoes or cycling clothes (hello? jerseys are $60 on sale!!)
I'm like you, a new mascara here or a pair of shoes there. Nothing big or major. So when he wants something major I'm like um NO. But we do try to compromise and I tell him if he wants it it has to be something saved for or something that comes out of his bonus. That way it's not money we need for other things.
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