Monday, June 29, 2009
Now this drug really makes a mess of your...in the bedroom time. At the beginning when I first take the meds, it's HORRIBLE mood swings and grumpiness for me. Then a week of happy. Then it's waiting around for the "Right time" to do....what is necessary!
The issue is....you are on a schedule of when you can and can't ....have relations.
As much fun as it is to know, Monday night I'm going to have .....time with my hubby. I also know that if something is bothering me or I'm mad at him for something....it's going on the back burner until after....things have been done.
My hubby is okay with this.
I'm on the fence. I want to have a baby SOOOOOO bad but at what cost??
My question to you is....do you ever 'push through' for the team, just to keep the peace?
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
My husband I have those conversations too..
Husband: Honey, go put the DVD in the PS3
Me: You put it in, I ordered the Pizza
Husband: Yeah, but I went to the door to pay the guy
Me: I poured your drink
Husband: I plated your food!
Me: I'm going to one day carry your children and go through hours of painful labor!
Husband: Wouldn't we have to have sex first!?
Me: Touche' funny man . . . touche'.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
You're still here? Okay, don't say I didn't warn you.
Hubby and I are coming up on anniversary #10! WOOHOO! (I'm doing the happy dance right now- it's making it hard to type). I have learned a lot about my desires vs. Hubby's desires over this time.
Since I was a virgin until my wedding night I didn't really know what to expect- other than the info I learned from those "maturation" videos in school and the REALLY awkward talks with BOTH mom and dad. Ya, Dad got in on the action too. Don't even go there!
So, since I didn't really have first-hand experience we just indulged in a lot of missionary style activities. It took a while for me to realize that there are other things to do, ways to do it and all that stuff. It has only been in about the last year that I have been very vocal with Hubby as to exactly what I like. I don't like certain parts to be neglected during sex and such. He told me openly where he likes me to kiss him (on his neck under his ear). Good things to know. I just wish we hadn't waited so long to be more open.
It has totally improved our intimacy/sex/whatever you want to call it. Do you openly ask for things? Have you always been comfortable with talking about sex with each other? I want a good discussion going here, so I am hoping to break the record for comments on this blog. Come on people. Get in on the action... I mean the discussion.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I remember words and phrases because of how they made me feel. Those words or phrases once ordinary, become something extraordinary and special just to me, and between him and I.
One example of this is the word AMAZE.
When my guy and I were dating it was long distance 95% of our pre-marriage relationship. During that time we had a lot of "incredible" weekends together.
There was never enough time, it was always hard when we parted, and we always had a date set for when we would see each other again. This was also pre-cell phone, so when we parted ways, we parted ways. No texting, no calling on the road, No TWITTER to chronicle our new found love!
It was horrible.
I would get a phone call, usually that night, to tell me he was home and safe so that I could go to bed.
Well one particular weekend it was to late to call, or I had missed his call and had fallen asleep, either way, I woke up the next morning frantic that I hadn't heard from him.
I called his work immediately. It was Monday morning.
MSM: "Hey, I got in so late I decided not to call and wake your whole house up."
Me: "Don't do that again. I don't care who you wake up, even if it's ME, please call when you make it back so I know you're safe, I'd tell you I can't sleep until you call, but then you would know I lie!"
MSM: Laughing he says, "Okay. You want to know something?"
Me: "Yea, what?"
MSM: "You amaze me. Really you do. The whole way home while I was driving, I couldn't stop thinking how amazing you are, and the coolest thing about you is you have NO IDEA...I don't know, I'm just...amazed."
You have to know, My Guy doesn't share his feelings, he doesn't like to say or even write a lot of "mushy" stuff, not that he doesn't feel it, he just says he feels awkward expressing it. So anything sensitive or sentimental pretty much puts me on cloud nine for WEEKS because they are so rare! :)
So that moment is etched in my mind. It really meant something. It was his way of telling me he cared for me beyond a casual fling.
I still can remember the chills and delicious feelings that washed over me as he said those words, that word... amaze.
And to this day I can't hear it or say it without thinking about that phone call.
I claimed it OUR word, kinda like our I LOVE YOU word without saying I LOVE YOU.
Words are powerful things. The feelings that they invoke are AMAZING, yet there is also the flip side to this, they can also bring about negativity and disaster.
So in your relationship now or in relationships past, what is that WORD or PHRASE that brought about a monumental moment or change? Why was it special or why was it monumental?
And guys that trudged through this post... do words or phrases even hold special meaning to you? Can words or phrases bring about monumental change when you think with the logical side of your brain? (that's a good interview question for my guy-hmmmm)
Feel free to share the good or the bad.
Mine was good because I am feeling all HIGH on my guy coming to the airport for me, and I'll be riding this train for awhile... but there have been plenty of the opposite in our 10 1/2 years of being together.
Okay, I'll be around today so I can't wait to hear what you guys have to say! :)
As I prepare to move in a few weeks I’ve been going through drawers and boxes and things trying to consolidate what’s going where. Junk pile or keep for the most part. While doing this I came across some old pictures from about ten years ago…from a different life.
Pictures of a previous relationship.
I’ve simply forgotten that they’ve been buried amongst other things and I haven’t ever taken the proper time to go through everything to find them. Now that I have found them I don’t know what to do with them.
Should I keep them?
Should I throw them away?
It seems wrong I suppose to just toss them out. After all if I hadn’t had that previous life I wouldn’t be in the one I have now. I don’t keep the pictures to hold onto the past I don’t want to know what this other persons life is like now. I simply never bothered to get rid of them.
Do you keep pictures or mementos from your past relationships? How does your current partner feel about that? Should I throw them out or keep them? Which memories are worth saving?
Friday, June 19, 2009
My husband and I spend about 90% of our free time together. Seriously, if he isn’t working – we are together. We go out to eat every weekend, movies, spas, dirt bike riding, long drives… whatever each of us wants to do, we do it together. We do weekends away and long extended vacations. (Photo of us in Italy, Trevi Fountain.)
We don’t have any “couple" friends. The few couples we use to do things with long ago have all moved away, so there are just us. And really I like it that way.
So what I am thinking of today are ideas. What ideas do each of you have regarding spending time with your spouse? What do you love to do together? Or what do you wish you would do.... but just haven't put the importance of it because you need to find the time or babysitter or have to plan and save.
A fun thing we have done…. forever is Matt will jump up and put on his shoes, as I am sitting there, it doesn’t matter if it’s a Tuesday night, or a Sunday afternoon. He will get up and say “I don’t know about you, but I am going to go __________. That blank could be I am going to go get an ice cream cone, or going to a movie, or go take a walk. It ends with me jumping up and saying well, you’re not going without me. And off we go. Its fun, it’s spontaneous.
And yes it’s easier now that our kids are older.
But even when our kids were young, we knew our couple time was important, and we budgeted in babysitting, etc. We did trades with friends. His jumping up pretty much started as our oldest was around 12 or so and we wanted to start leaving the kids alone. So we would go out for just ice cream cone runs, just the two of us.
So I told you a few ideas on how we spend our time together, how do you spend your alone time? Let’s share some ideas of fun things to do with our mate. And I will add some more ideas as we comment.
Missty over at Life is Good
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
My husband and I ordered several different books from Amazon.com recently, and piece by piece they've been arriving in the mail.
When one of my favourite books, 1001 Ways to Be Romantic arrived, I was very excited.
Hubby . . . not so much.
* * *
Me: Yay! Look my book came today!
Hubby: Oh you mean the book you obviously bought for me?
Me: No. I mean MY book.
Hubby: You're book, for me. You trying to say something?
Me: No. I bought this book specifically for me!
Hubby: For me to read right?
Me: No! Holy cow! Girls can be romantic too ya know!
So for all you hubbies out there, this is a really good book, but it in no way is meant to offend your manhood. And ladies, if you buy this book . . . hide it.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Have you ever had a time in your life when things just seemed to be spinning out of control? I mean, to the point where you literally talk to your own self, saying repeatedly "WHO IS THIS PERSON?"
That's the week I've had. And of course, with good reason. Yet at the same time, I've knowingly yet without intention have turned all my anger and stress towards my husband. And I feel terrible about it.
I've apologized. I've gotten mad when simply asked by him "Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?" I've went quiet for periods of time. I've snipped at him for things I would never normally do. And it's like I'm looking from the outside in, at this woman who is totally not herself.
This is an example of the
In the meantime, if I can offer one ounce of advice, it would be the following:
Don't EVER take on a new job that requires weeks away from home across the country while at the same time buying a new home and selling your own home within 7 days at full price with no contingencies which is great at first but then allows you absolutely no way to back out of the deal which is exactly what you'd want to do when you unexpectedly find out that the inspection on the home you're buying came back with major issues including electrical fire hazards and gas leaks that could cost up to $10,000 which the seller refuses to fix and you've realized that you may be homeless because the ruthless real estate agent who was supposedly your dear friend has too much money on the line to now ensure "all things work out" as she has also already sold the house of the people buying your own.
I'm opening the wine early tonight. And to my dear beloved husband and to any other man out there that must tolerate the behavior us woman bestow upon all of you at some point or another:
God Bless You.
And I am sincerely sorry.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
When I was single I always thought that I would be extremely clever and come up with some great proposal to my fiance. To be honest, I think that my attempts make a great story in itself.
When I first got the urge to ask my now wife to marry her we both were attending a friends wedding. We both stepped outside for a walk and before you know it I asked her to marry me. With a fountain misting us as the wind blew that night she did say yes— but I did not have a ring so I felt that I didn't do it properly.
About a month into our engagement, we were at Dave's Rock Shop in Evanston and I bought a really nice ring that she thought was pretty. One day I put on my tuxedo and rode the El to where she worked ring in tow. I then got on one knee and asked again and gave her the ring. Of course, I did feel that I should be buying a diamond ring to be "truly official".
We both spent time at a jeweler giving each other our opinions as to what would be the proper size and shape of an engagement ring. Keeping this in mind, I picked out our wedding bands as well as a diamond ring. Since the engagement ring was a bit out of my price range to get right then and there— I got it on lay away (but I did have a receipt). I got a discount on a lake cruise and since she always wanted to go on a cruise, I bought tickets to the cruise for our anniversary of when we met. So… I put the receipt in a ring box and brought it with on the cruise and proceeded to give her the ring box with the receipt to show her that I was serious enough to get a diamond ring.
By the time Christmas rolled around I had the ring and wrapped it up and gave it to her. By this time the attitude was "Oh, that thing"— all that work for what… so glad that we actually did get married after all that.
So it makes me wonder if anybody has any interesting proposal stories to tell as well— even those that didn't go according to plan.
To hear what I'm thinking… read my blog:
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
You are right on girl! Being compatable sexually is a top priority for most marriages. And if your not, it can be a BIG problem in a marriage. Why do you think there are many couples in counseling, or divorices. Its not the only reason why they are, but there are a good many people who aren't sexually compatable, then the uncompatablility moves to other areas of the marriage.
you test drive cars, and other major purchases why not your partner for life.
I guess you can make your first ride in a car - special. Why try it out.
Those people who say they waited, half are probably lying. And those who didn't respond are afraid to put their real feelings out there. For fear of being judged, etc. Or maybe a partner might read this and realize they thought they were a virgin.
Yes most grow up with the "wait" morals. Of course. But reality isn't that way.
This could of been a great discussion for a blog like this. To bad it didn't. It does set the tone for how this blog could go - tip toe around issues. Not really the good the bad and the ugly. shame.
One last thing. WE need TOPICS! If you guys have ideas of things you would like discussed here but want someone else to write about it... please leave any ideas in comments. Again, we would always love for you to GUEST POST!!!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
But as I was busy with my day, running errands, helping boys do a few errands and took my oldest son out to lunch. I was looking at people. There are a lot of people who really don't care how they look. Do women think that baggy sweats with their husbands t-shirt really looks good. Or the men who aren’t matching or wearing sneakers with dress pants? I think some women try to be just as plain looking or as old looking as possibly.
I swear I have a sister and a friend who "LOOK" and act old! They both try to look as if they are 20 years older than what they are. I think she thinks "Modest" Means frumpy! (But then again the very same sister thinks I am immature! LOL So maybe there is something there.) I'm not saying act or dress like your 20 year old daughter if you’re in your 40’s. I am saying look and act your age, not 20 and not 65 if your 40!! Same goes for the men. Pull yourselves together.
Looking good is important to me. It’s important that I don't look like I just rolled out of bed, when Matt walks back in the door at night. It’s important that when I am with my boys they aren't embarrassed that their mom is looking "frumpy". And it makes me feel better during the day to know that I look ok.
Right now I need to loose a few pounds. I am not happy about the way I look or feel. And will be working on it. But I still make sure I have some nice clothes on, a bit of make-up and my hair is done.
So for the sake of discussion here. If your spouse is not looking “up to par” in your eyes, do you say something? Or do you stay quiet - not hurt their feelings? Is their looks up to them only? If they have let themselves go since you were married do you have the right to say something? Have you had similar discussions with your spouse?
Monday, June 8, 2009
Do you share the same email account with your significant other?
Do they read your blog?
My husband reads my other blog and this one and he’s on facebook.
So basically he could keep tabs on me if he were so inclined. As far as I know he doesn’t. We don’t share an email account but I know some people do. I couldn’t be comfortable with that. It’s not a trust thing for me, I’m not doing anything wrong and neither is he, but I wouldn’t want him reading my email. It’s personal.
Am I the only one that feels like that little bit of separation is welcome?
I’m always scribbling my thoughts in a notebook and I generally just leave it on my desk. Sometimes I leave them open. They aren’t diary entries more often they are parts of whatever story I am working. I know that if my husband picked them up and started reading them I would feel strange about it though. Until it’s published it still feels like it’s private.
How much do you share? Would it bother you if someone read your personal mail?
What sort of things do you think of as private?
Friday, June 5, 2009
Why in the HELK can't guys assess their feelings?
I know they have them. I KNOW they do.
They have feelings for sports, drink, sex, hobbies. Sometimes you can't shut them up with their enthusiasm on how much they LOVE that one particular thing or another.
But when it comes down to discussing something like let's say whom they are IN LOVE with, why they are in love with them, you know, where they need to be compassionate and sensitive… they tend to shut down to empty shell mode.
For example: (you knew that was coming huh?)
One of our first REALLY big up-all-night fights started with one question.
Sexy wife and mother of his children (me in case you were confused) said as we were after-the-act cuddling (I figured out fast that that is one of the best times to approach things…): "Hey Baby, why me? Why did you choose me out of all the fish in the sea? Why me?"
My Mr. Insensitive: ……… (silent deep breath which usually means he's falling asleep or faking it!!!)
Sexy wife and mother of his children : "STOP that! You are not asleep!"
My Mr. Insensitive: "I AM really tired though."
Sexy wife and mother of his children: "Answer my question. Seriously. Why me?" (I'll admit… I wanted, at that time, for him to spill out how much he loved me and couldn't live without me, and he smiles 20 random times during the day because he can't help think about something witty I said… but still)
My Mr. Insensitive: "ummm… I don't know? I just DID pick you…" and with a quirky smile he dives in for a kiss then pulls back and says, "Lucky you huh!"
Sexy wife and mother of his children: "YOU DON'T KNOW? How do you NOT know? What… what? I was convenient?"
My Mr. Insensitive: "I was ready to settle down…"
Sexy wife and mother of his children: "Are you SERIOUS right now? Completely serious? It's a simple question. I could probably write a novel of why I picked you! And you can't come up with ONE thing to tell me… ONE that's all you needed!"
It gets fuzzy after that… my allergies (that I don't have) began to kick in and my brain functions NOT-at-ALL when my eyes are leaking… it turns to mush and everything gets all tangled up!
I just don't get it though. Why is it SO hard to talk about how you feel when it is dealing with someone you are in a relationship with? It should be easy… and it's a lot easier on the relationship as a WHOLE… believe me! No guessing, no confusion, no miscommunication!
I know it's not ALL men… I know also that it is hard for some WOMEN. (so don't harp on me about exceptions to the rule)
But on average… with the typical male… this is the case. I'm just wondering why?
Why is it easy to talk about your favorite sports team (or enter whatever passion they have) and your love for them or why you CHOSE them?
Huh? Huh? Tell me… why?
My conclusion… he's was a scaredy cat!!! It's was hard for him to admit at the time that without me in his life it would be utterly and completely meaningless…
Nine years later… and upteen simple questions just like that… and let's just say-- I still love him regardless! Hehe! That's not to say sometimes he DOES surprise me though…
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
My husband and I were having a conversation about a friend of ours. It was pretty much about how this friend really regrets a few past relationships. I was telling my husband, I don’t regret any relationships I have had. What ever kind of relationship it was, friends, sexual, or casual acquaintances. You can always learn and grow from a past experience. However good or bad it was.
But today - I am talking about the sexual ones. My husband wasn’t my first love, but he is my last love! ;o)
I know, I know, parents and religion say we are suppose to feel all repentant, and bad, and keep ourselves for that one special person. But I digress. I don’t think so. I really think this is an area; you need to be compatible in. And what a drag, if your not! I am not saying bed everyone you know, or have one night stands. But I am thinking of long serious relationships that might turn into marriage, it’s important to be on the same page, especially this page.
I am thinking specifically about a long term boyfriend I had. Many thought we would get married someday. He was smart and charming and had a TON of money. Every girls dream, right? Not mine. Seriously – he was bad in bed! I pretty much got nothing out of it. And what little experience I had then, I could tell, this is not what I wanted! I really think, it would have been a nightmare. Not that sex is the only thing to be compatible with. But regarding this post, it was one thing. And for me, an important thing.
I have heard many people say – “Oh if you have sex it changes the relationship, or that is why you broke up.” And they might be right. Maybe sex could be the reason the relationship changed, what’s wrong with that? It should change, you are moving it to a new level. And what if after you have sex you do break up? Well, then maybe that was one of the reasons... you realize your not compatible. Are we really wanting to really find out after a long dating time or marriage, that we just don’t work together under the sheets?
Not sure how I want the comments or discussion to go… But would love to hear some of your views.
Do you think you can be compatible with someone you have never slept with? Are you in a non-compatible relationship now as a married person because you waited?
Do you wish you had waited? Or do you wish you had a little more experience under your belt, before you made a commitment? Or wish your spouse had?
Missty over at Life is Good